My sister came back today from Gainsville. She is visiting Florida this weekend. We spent most of the afternoon discussing politics, government, and philosophy. We enjoyed a wonderful sushi dinner in Fernandina Beach. After dinner we played around on the internet a bit. We both laughed and laughed until we cried upon watching a You Tube video of how to play the "Entertainer" on the piano. The video went WAY too fast. There was no way to keep up. What really got us laughing though was a comment that follwed from another user about the video:

"u done a real big mistake because its not slow its just fast all the way through so no one can learn it properly. so thats why u havent go any 'thank you' or 'this helped' from anyone."

One of the Navy's best kept secrets...

Before arriving in Diego Garcia I had somewhat of a questionable perception of the place. People on the boat would often allude to it during their lamenting juxtaposition with some other place they would rather go.

When we arrived in Diego Garcia the sun was beautiful, the water was crystal blue, and the tropical green canopy of the coconut palm trees were EVERYWHERE!!! This place was an island paradise!

Over the two weeks spent there I was "forced" to relax and unwind after a long and arduous deployment. I believe my stress dropped significantly.

The island also offered very diverse wild life, beautiful reefs to swim and snorkel around, VERY cheap food and drinks, and tons of MWR sponsored events. There was always something fun to do and there was usually a free T-shirt involved.

The island is small, very narrow, and about 16 miles in circumference.

I spent a good bit of time in the water and the sun. I loved it.

Today, and I use that term loosely, has been pretty hectic and taxing. I have been on and off airplanes for about 24 hours now. We are currently in Bangor, Maine boarding the plane and getting ready to leave. The next stop is Wisconsin and then finally home to Jacksonville, Florida. We started at the Diego Garcia "airport" and then flew to Kuwait and then to Leipzig, Germany.

After Germany we flew for another seven hours and arrived back in the United States in Maine. From there things became a bit cumbersome. Apparently we (USS Florida) caused the 70 something soldiers traveling with us to go through customs a second time. We were required to unload the entire plane and then reload it again. To exacerbate the problem further our own ship's force working party (approximately 20 men) were not allowed to assist with unloading or loading the cargo from the plane. Instead "three" union guys loaded everything resulting in significant loss of time and money.

Then came the bags... so our working party decided to make themselves useful anyways and employ their efforts "unloading" bags off the conveyor belt next to customs... the result.. bags and people were EVERYWHERE!!!

Finally I procured and collected all of my luggage and made it through customs with no further hindrance.

Then came the surprise. I walked tired and weary and almost down the corridor to the lounge and restrooms. As I turned the corner I heard clapping. I looked behind me and there was no one else around. There were people clapping for me.

As I walked up, a line of about 30 military veterans and their wives were smiling and enthusiastically telling me "thank you" and "welcome home". There were veterans from World War II, Korea, Vietnam, Desert Storm. I felt so wonderful. I just could not believe it. My eyes watered and I could not stop smiling. I shook each and every one of their hands smiling. I told them all thank you as they welcomed me home. I felt so overjoyed... Finally there were people that understood EXACTLY what I had experienced. These were MY heroes welcoming ME home and clapping for ME.

It is now July. I feel as though this journey is finally coming to and end. We still have a few more tasks on the horizon, but I can sense the spirit of home.

Times have been rough and a bit stressful recently. However, I believe I need to redouble my efforts and embrace a positive and enthusiastic attitude. I know my future is in God's hands. Thus, I can rest assured that my future will be filled with effulgent hope.

We have mainly been standing watch and conducting some training. I continue to work out and I even ran eight miles two days ago. I need to find a novel method to break up my mental ennui. I need to embrace a discipline that will guide me.

The more I think the more I realize that I need to write. This seems the only means for me to leave a creative mark upon the world. I want to relay my philosophy and thoughts to others. I wonder if anyone will see anything of value.

I want to be appreciated. I want to be valuable to others.

I need to help out and be a more giving individual. Recently I wonder what is the point of my existence. Am I really making a difference for the greater good? Is there such a thing as the greater good? The solum bonum?

Personally I feel so ambivalent at times. A large part of me thirsts for honor and virtue; to fight for what is right. Another part of me poses the question "what does it matter?" If it does not matter for anything then why not seek your own selfish ends? If we break everything down to the micro level is anyone acting out of anything except selfish ends? Even my "hypothetical question" (see facebook) has only two possibilities. On the surface one appears selfish and one does not; yet they are both selfish upon further analysis. Ultimately we will act in our own best interest. If we act out of love for our families it is still selfish because we value our families the most. We gain the most utility from our families. If we sacrifice ourselves for humanity then it is still selfish because we gain more utility from making the sacrifice as opposed to not making it. Is there an escape from this? It would seem that any escape would not necessarily be useful or practical (unless by accident.) Rather the escape would be irrational and absurd.

Yesterday I played paintball for the first time and rather enjoyed it. I played on base with some people from the command. I was not the best but dramatically improved throughout the day. I have a battle scars left over but they are well worth it.

Today I have been sitting around taking care of domestic and financial affairs. I have also been enjoying my house. I wish I had some more friends to come over and drink and watch TV with me. I may go to Hooters later on. Again I wish I had some more friends to go with me. I wish I had a base of friends as I did in Norfolk. Tomorrow I may go to church if I can get up on time.

I need to get ahead financially. I may consider selling my houses if it is worth it. I think I may look back to the stock market and other business adventures. I hope to get one more roommate in August. They guy seems pretty cool and he is in the military too.

Reflections: I wonder about this country sometimes and our politics. The government just seems to encroach more and more on the way we live our lives. Why can we not be free to do what we want? Why do special interests and individuals have to seize power through the government in an attempt to control our lives? Why do these people that seize power always seem to be the least fit to wield it? Reflecting on Machiavelli, I agree that the founding of a nation or a state is of critical importance. It seems that this may be the one and only time to strategically position the political structure as to shield it from the capricious nature of the masses and special interests over time. Unfortunately, much of our founding has been unmade by the test of time. In order to repair the maladies of our politics it seems that several unpopular moves would be in order. Thus, there seems to be a low chance of these positive changes actually being executed.

It is currently Friday afternoon and I am enjoying some downtime after work. I just finished updating live journal for some back dated entries from my days at Officer Candidate School. I found my old journal from there and have been involved in the tedious process of transcribing it to this website. I must admit that reading over it again conjures up many unpleasant memories. Of course there will be more back dated entries to come form both the distant and the recent past. Quite a bit has happened since I have returned from sea. Even in the last week quite a bit has happened!

A few highlights...

I am no longer single. As my father would say the girl of my fancy and I are now an "item." It is kind of funny and maybe even a little ironic but she once told me that she wished she could just jump into being in a relationship and skip the "awkward beginning." Yet these inchoate stages and the events leading up to them are priceless, at least to me.

I still continue to battle anxiety at work. I have come to the somewhat singular conclusion that my stresses are generally greatest in the morning. By the time the afternoon comes, stress and anxiety are nowhere near the bugbears they were during the early hours. Generally, by evening these vile forces are but fleeting memories. Of course, talking to that certain special someone at night does wonders to mitigate my stress and ameliorate my overall disposition.

I have quite a bit of work to do around the house. I need to tidy up the inside, vacuum, do laundry, mow the lawn, and get organized.

I still need to find some roommates. It would be nice to meet a few more friends outside of work as well.

I need to ramp up my routine for physical exercise.

I am looking forward to October. I have several things planned. I am supposed to go to Scarowinds, take five days of leave and go camping with the Venture Crew, and to get underway for a bit. Now that I know that my underway time with another boat will be short lived I am rather looking forward to it especially to finishing up my qualifications for good and to getting away from our boat. I hope things will be more stable upon my return.

I have been listening to The Picture of Dorian Grey on CD while driving my truck. I find it a little bit underwhelming. I was fascinated with the character ever since the movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which I love. I want to keep this habit up and continue enjoying classics and other useful audio while driving. I spend so much time in my truck, might as well make the best of it. I really need to get some vocabulary building audio with a high efficacy. I have employed these programs before and reaped great rewards. I need to continue doing this.

Well more to come later... Perhaps something a little bit more profound or insightful.

There are so many things to write about but right now I am just beat. We are in shift work for a few days and they are 12 hour shifts.

I really hope I can get home this weekend to see my family, friends, and someone special!

It is really good to be home from sea. I have missed my house.

I got a fridge finally! I need some roommates and a grill!

I love causing a little bit of controversy :-P Mwahahaha! Perhaps I am not such the "evil corrupting guy" that some may think.

I saw Better Than Ezra in Jacksonville Beach on Thursday night. That was schweet!!!!

I want to pick up the guitar more!

More back dated and coherent entries to follow soon!

Well I am writing from my bedroom interestingly enough. I was supposed to be at sea right now but due to a sequence of singular events I am not.
We left for underway on Friday morning. Friday was a long day. I stood the maneuvering watch in the morning, did some divisional paperwork, rigged the missile compartment for dive and found exceptions that the first guy missed, and I got caught up at the scene of a drill all before I could attempt to sleep. The maneuvering watch was rather dry; not too much happened, save a few lame forward drills. Afterwards I had to correct paperwork for the engineer for Reactor Laboratories division; we still have enormous amounts of administrative work messed up that we need to fix. Finally I was able to begin my rig for dive assignment for the missile compartment. As I had not done this compartment in quite a long time I was walking around clumsily and without a clue. Thankfully, I had saved notes from qualifications that allowed me to find the appropriate valves and components. Much to my chagrin I came across two exceptions that the first guy missed. For those of you that are not familiar with rig for dive, this is a serious violation. If the ship is not properly rigged for dive then it could be disastrous after we dive. I really did not want the guy to get in a load of trouble. I reported the exceptions and told the ship’s diving officer. He seemed rather busy and told me to find the guy and look into the exceptions. So I did. I did not hear anything else about it. I think this guy was lucky. Finally I attempted to get some sleep to little avail. Much to my chagrin I was rudely awakened twice by the 1MJ phone ringing in my stateroom. Both times were wrong numbers. Finally I had to get up again for my pre-watch tour, brief, and watch. By this time rumors had spread across the ship that we were not going to stay out at sea. Sure enough, after a long difficult watch the rumors were confirmed. We were pulling in. What did this mean for me? No sleep of course! Finally, after a long day I got home around four in the afternoon and went to bed for the night..

I am thankful for my wonderful God and my wonderful family. The good Lord fills each day with wonder and marvelous things. I do believe in miracles and I believe that there is endless wonder out there in life for me. God is with me and He blesses me. He wants me to succeed, He wants wonderful things to happen to me and He wants to fill my life with awe, excitement, adventure, love, and truth. I feel as though I need to be more positive. Despite adversity at work or elsewhere, I can and will make a difference. I refuse to succumb to negative energy and an environment that fosters bitterness without a fight or at all for that matter. Yes things seem very difficult currently, but the Lord is blessing me and I am thankful. I am also so thankful for being able to go to Nags Head, for the friends that I have, for the inspiring people that work for me, and for my health. For my success in real estate, and for the people that touch my life.
I believe that words are powerful. They direct the conscious and unconscious. The spoken word is a seed and manifests itself into reality. It is important to watch your words for they are tools for creation or destruction. Your word really is your wand. I will continue to use positive affirmations on a daily basis.
Today is a good day. Many wonderful surprises came into being just as I had claimed them. I was even able to get out of work very early and with ease. I believe that today is a new day and a new start.

“I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never going to keep me down!”

That’s right, they indeed will be singing that when we are winning. Things right now are not going so well, but I refuse to believe that all the paint has run dry. I proceed with faith and hope and I believe that God is watching out for me.